Just five more minutes...

If you could spend 5 minutes with someone who is dead, who would you choose? I would chose my dog Jake. We only spent four years together because he was already 10 years old when I adopted him and after three years, his health  deteriorated rapidly. He crossed the rainbow bridge after being diagnosed with a brain tumor and his body functions shutting down one after the other.

I was never as mentally and physically healthy as I was when I had Jake in my life. I did not have a cold or even a headache while I had him. I did not miss a day of work or university. I was fit because I had to walk him several times a day. Whenever I was stressed or sad, he cheered me up with a smile or dropping his favorite ball in my lap to play - or by simply rolling onto his back when sleeping, which always made me laugh out loud.

I certainly never understood why he loved laying down on my yoga mat when I was doing my pilates exercises. Whenever I lifted my legs up to the ceiling and then back down again, my feet were suddenly landing on a Golden Retriever. Every night, the last thing I saw before falling asleep was Jake circling twice on his donut-shaped bed before settling down for his night sleep.

Every morning he woke me up by coming up to my side of the bed and breathing into my face. Nothing wakes you up faster than  doggy morning-breath. He gave me a routine during my separation and divorce and literally gave me a reason to get up every morning. He was my rock and didn't allow me to feel sorry for myself because I still had to care for him. He also was the one who told me through his sudden change in behavior that something was not quite right with that spot on my leg and his strange behavior made me continue go to the doctor. And that was the right thing to do as it turned out that the tiny little spot was squamous carcinoma.

I was never scared when he was by side. I was never alone when I he was in my life. 

I miss him dearly and I miss his way of getting excited about the smallest things - he loved to play ball, he loved to sniff the white roses in front of the neighbor's house, he love to go to the park. And certainly nothing beats coming home from work and being greeted by a furry, smiling face that is just happy to see you. No conditions, no expectations.
Open a can of food, take him for a walk, scratch him behind his ears, give him a cookie - that's all he needed. It took very little to make him happy and it took very little to make me happy when I had him.

Jake passed away 9 years ago and he left a big void in my life that no human will every be able to fill. A pet's love is like no other. Those of you who have a pet know what I am talking about. Once he was gone, I started to binge-travel and was going out almost every night. I had to distract myself, so I wouldn't think about how much I missed him. At the moment, I cannot have a dog in my apartment and my work schedule does not accomodate having a dog either. The possiblity of owning a dog again is the only reason for looking forward to retirement. 25 years to go...