12 Months to 40

When I was a teenager, fourty was always my scary-age. People who were fourty were officially 'old'. They were boring, had a steady job and had the same routine everyday. Their lives seemed basically over and they were just waiting for death to come. Last week, I turned 39. I have twelve months to go before I am officially 'old'...

 via GIPHY

My late thirties snuck up on me like a bold eagle on its prey. I CANNOT believe I just turned 39 - the last year in my thirties has begun. I still remember waking up the day after my 29th birthday. A sense of panic came over me and I started to cry. At the time, I thought the midlife crisis was upon me. So I was waiting for it to set in. I wasn't sure what it would feel like but I was ready for it. And then... it never came!

I had a blast in my thirties! I lived life to the fullest. At the time, I lived in Santa Monica, just minutes from the beach. I was in top shape - as most people living in LA are - and I had a great lifestyle with a very active social life and a high-paying, steady corporate job. I loved every minute of it.

Now, ten years later, I live a completely different life. The ocean is far away, I've become more mellow in my social activities and traded my corporate career for a part-time job, so I can fulfill my dream of being a writer. I watch TV shows for the 'young' generation and don't get them at all. What's up with the confused young woman of 'GirlBoss'? Her father wants to pay for her to go to college and she hates him for it. She thinks she should be able to make a living without having to work and instead sleep all day? She steals, she lies, she is rude. Why am I supposed to like this character? Does she really represent today's 20-somethings? If so, I'm happy to not be a Millennial!

The biggest differences compared to ten years ago are: 1) I am happily married, and 2) I know myself better than ever before.

In the past, I was always concerned with 'being nice' and not offending anyone. Most of the time, that was at the expense of my well-being. Now, at 39 I've reach the what I call 'fuck it'-point: the point in life where you stop worrying about what others think of you. I eliminate people from my life who try to bully and boss me around. If you can't be encouraging of my dreams and happy for my achievements, you don't have a place in my life. I also don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone anymore. I know what I am capable of and that's good enought for me. Anyone who tries to 'test' me is not a friend.

 via GIPHY

And while my body is definitely not as in shape as it was ten years ago and I sometimes (ok, most of the time) prefer couching in my sweatpants over dancing in the club, I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. While I certainly have some regrets, I am happy about the major decisions I have made in my life. I have an encouraging circle of friends, I travel the world, I have a fulfilling job that allows me enough time to pursue my passion of writing and I have a loving husband who treats me like an equal and not like someone who should be subservient.

Life at T-12 months to 40 is fantastic and a lot less scary than 30 was.

I AM HAPPY! :)

Happy at 39!

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