My feminist city limits

Today, I was really angry with myself. Even more so: I was disappointed with myself.

I pride myself on being a strong woman who doesn't take shit from people - especially men when they think they can just do or say whatever to a woman. I went for a walk today in the woods surrounding the city of Salzburg in Austria. I had some lovely Apfelstrudel and a cappuccino with a view of the fortress Hohensalzburg up on the hill in the not so far distance.

When I was done, I started to make my way back towards the direction of my hotel. Lots of tourists crossed my path, which is nothing unusual in this area at this time of the year. After a few minutes, I saw a young couple that just finished talking to an old man and saying their goodbyes. It seemed as if he was giving them directions.

I was in a happy mood and being polite, I smiled at the old man as I passed him. He called after me: "Young lady!" I turned around and he came closer. "I was just telling these two young people how you can get a fantastic view of Salzburg if you go up this path and turn right." He was uncomfortably close to my face and I could see his rotten teeth. I thank him and informed him that I had already been there to enjoy that view. He 'congratulated' me and extended his hand. I know that shaking hands is a very Austrian thing to do and didn't think much of it.

As he took my hand, he pulled me in and gave me a kiss on each cheek. I was so startled, I didn't know what to do. He told me to 'stay healthy' and took off. Frozen I stood there and said 'I will' before I continued my walk.

In America, I would have never let a stranger get this close to me, let alone touch me or kiss me on the cheeks. So why did I not go Californian on his saggy ass?

I wish I knew...

The only sort of reasonable explanation I have to offer myself is that I grew in the Austrian countryside where men - especially old men - were always handsy and touchy-feely. No girl was ever told that she doesn't have to let an old man touch her but rather this was just the way it was. This is just the way those old guys are... and you - girls - just have to accept that.

I'm no little girl anymore and yet I still let that old fart touch me. Sure, there was no need to extend my hand for a handshake but the 'good manners' I was taught were on auto pilot. I definitely did not expect him to violate my personal space like that.

All of this does not explain why I didn't stand up for myself after the fact. I have not encountered something like this in the US or even in Vienna. City folk don't seem to do such a thing. But guys in the countryside do. Can someone explain to me why I revert to the way of accepting chauvinism and become the little submissive girl as soon as I am out in the country?

Anyone? Any shrinks reading this blog? Advice welcome...

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