Repatriation Nation
I recently read an article about someone who 'repatriated' after six months of traveling. The writer talked about how difficult it was to reconnect with friends after she (or he - not sure) had been gone for so long.
First, I think that if you lose your friends after you have been gone only for six month, they may not have been real friends anyway. So... good ridance. Second, try reconnecting with friends from school after you have been gone for over a decade!
When I made it known on social media that I was about to move back to my home country, I had a lot of people from school reconnect with me and wanting to meet up as soon as I got there. I was excited that so many of them were interested in what I had been up to.
The first friend I met up with is someone I went to kindergarden and school with. We had brunch and talked about the old days and the new days. Over the course of eating some scrambled eggs and drinking a cappuccino, it became pretty clear that this friendship was not going to continue with my return. She told me about how miserable she was in her relationship but that she wasn't going to leave him because she saw no point in it. I was very sad she felt that way and I will never understand people who accept their misery just of fear of being alone. But that was not the reason why I realized we weren't going to friends any longer. She managed to make a racist and a homophobic statement within the last 5 minutes of our brunch. Bye, bye.
Oh well, I thought, there are many more friends to reconnect with. However, soon I learned that a lot of the people who were so eager to reconnect with me upon my return, suddenly no longer had time to meet me or were just willing to meet me where they lived, rather than half way. I did end up meeting a few more people from the old days but I soon noticed that they only wanted to get the low-down on the reasons for my divorce.
I was disappointed.
Nonetheless, it was pretty clear anyway that I did not have much in common with the friends-from-way-back-when. And so I did what I had to do: I made new friends. Particularly new international friends. Friends I could relate to and had something in common with. There are very few people who can relate to what it means to feel disappointed about repatriating and the emptyness of realizing you just don't fit in anymore. And it is often difficult for people who have never lived abroad to understand feeling homesick for a country you were not born at but you feel more connected with than your country of birth.
It made me realize that I am not part of a certain society anymore. Instead I have entered the no man's land of the Repatriation Nation.
Are you a repatriate? Join https://www.facebook.com/groups/661188124091689/
First, I think that if you lose your friends after you have been gone only for six month, they may not have been real friends anyway. So... good ridance. Second, try reconnecting with friends from school after you have been gone for over a decade!
When I made it known on social media that I was about to move back to my home country, I had a lot of people from school reconnect with me and wanting to meet up as soon as I got there. I was excited that so many of them were interested in what I had been up to.
The first friend I met up with is someone I went to kindergarden and school with. We had brunch and talked about the old days and the new days. Over the course of eating some scrambled eggs and drinking a cappuccino, it became pretty clear that this friendship was not going to continue with my return. She told me about how miserable she was in her relationship but that she wasn't going to leave him because she saw no point in it. I was very sad she felt that way and I will never understand people who accept their misery just of fear of being alone. But that was not the reason why I realized we weren't going to friends any longer. She managed to make a racist and a homophobic statement within the last 5 minutes of our brunch. Bye, bye.
Oh well, I thought, there are many more friends to reconnect with. However, soon I learned that a lot of the people who were so eager to reconnect with me upon my return, suddenly no longer had time to meet me or were just willing to meet me where they lived, rather than half way. I did end up meeting a few more people from the old days but I soon noticed that they only wanted to get the low-down on the reasons for my divorce.
I was disappointed.
Nonetheless, it was pretty clear anyway that I did not have much in common with the friends-from-way-back-when. And so I did what I had to do: I made new friends. Particularly new international friends. Friends I could relate to and had something in common with. There are very few people who can relate to what it means to feel disappointed about repatriating and the emptyness of realizing you just don't fit in anymore. And it is often difficult for people who have never lived abroad to understand feeling homesick for a country you were not born at but you feel more connected with than your country of birth.
It made me realize that I am not part of a certain society anymore. Instead I have entered the no man's land of the Repatriation Nation.
Are you a repatriate? Join https://www.facebook.com/groups/661188124091689/
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