Fear: The F-Word in Writing and Publishing
As I get closer to the point of giving my 'go' to publish my book, I feel the fear getting more intense every day. Some excitement too of course but the fear is big. What am I so afraid of? The fears of publishing a book - and not just a book but a memoir! - are manyfold.
I am afraid people will not like my book, which could be a rejection of my writing skills or they are telling me that my life is not nearly as interesting as I thought it was.
I also suspect that there are some 'friends' out there who may want to see me crash and burn and feel validated in their superiority by my 'failure'.
I am afraid people will not buy my book as making money from doing what you love to do is also a form of recognition. It's important that I like my book first - and I do - and validation from the outside should only be secondary. But let's be real, we like being validated by others.
I am afraid people will give me poor reviews online. Reviews are permanent and public. It can be a form of public shaming. Most of the time, its the people who are the most opinionated - with a negative opinion - who make it a point to sit down and write a bad review about a book they don't like rather than just closing the book and putting it away (I closed and put away 'The Da Vinci Code' after reading about 100 pages - what an awful book!).
But most of all I am afraid of putting my life story out there. I am revealing a lot about myself and the struggles I went through. They are not severe struggles like other people have gone through. I am fully aware that there are women out there whose struggles are horrific and painful. Nonetheless, I think a lot of women/expats/wives/divorcees/self-loathing/self-loving people can relate to my life and the path I walked to find myself. And reading my story might be (hopefully) inspiring to some readers.
So, how should I handle this fear? I read some articles online about this struggle to see if there are any expert opinions out there. Here is some helpful advice I found in the web world:
http://positivewriter.com/scared-writer/
My favorite inspirational quote from this page is:
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I am afraid people will not like my book, which could be a rejection of my writing skills or they are telling me that my life is not nearly as interesting as I thought it was.
I also suspect that there are some 'friends' out there who may want to see me crash and burn and feel validated in their superiority by my 'failure'.
I am afraid people will not buy my book as making money from doing what you love to do is also a form of recognition. It's important that I like my book first - and I do - and validation from the outside should only be secondary. But let's be real, we like being validated by others.
I am afraid people will give me poor reviews online. Reviews are permanent and public. It can be a form of public shaming. Most of the time, its the people who are the most opinionated - with a negative opinion - who make it a point to sit down and write a bad review about a book they don't like rather than just closing the book and putting it away (I closed and put away 'The Da Vinci Code' after reading about 100 pages - what an awful book!).
But most of all I am afraid of putting my life story out there. I am revealing a lot about myself and the struggles I went through. They are not severe struggles like other people have gone through. I am fully aware that there are women out there whose struggles are horrific and painful. Nonetheless, I think a lot of women/expats/wives/divorcees/self-loathing/self-loving people can relate to my life and the path I walked to find myself. And reading my story might be (hopefully) inspiring to some readers.
So, how should I handle this fear? I read some articles online about this struggle to see if there are any expert opinions out there. Here is some helpful advice I found in the web world:
http://positivewriter.com/scared-writer/
My favorite inspirational quote from this page is:
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„You can’t let fear of the next step define you. When you defy the fear, you end up with a published
novel. When you give in, you end up only with regret." – Harrison Demchick
(positivewriter.com)
http://selfpubauthors.com/2014/09/07/overcoming-fear-so-you-can-finish-and-publish-your-books/
This page gives helpful advice on how to acknowledge the fear of publishing and take rational steps to overcome your fear.
In the end, when I am faced with a big decision, and publishing a book about my life IS a big decision, I remind myself of a wise sentence that I once read scribbled on a public restroom wall when I was a teenager - and this sentence is also a major theme in my book: "You can forgive yourself everything but the things you didn't do."
I am still thankful for the universe sending me to that particular public restroom that day in my teen years, as this sentence has helped me make a lot of big decisions in my life.
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